76 – What Do You Do When Life Gets In The Way?
Life Gets In the Way

What do you do when you want to create new art and move forward with your creative business, but life gets in the way? How do you get past the roadblocks?

In this episode, we share a glimpse of the crazy things going on in our own lives right now that could easily derail us from our creative journeys and the tools we are using to get past the challenges. If you’ve ever thought, “There’s too much going on in my life right now to ever make any progress”… this episode is for you. 

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Laura

0:00
Nikki, so what do you do when you want to create new art and move forward with your creative business, but life gets in the way? How do you get past the roadblocks?

Nikki

0:09
Oh, man, this is such a good topic for us right now. Because we’re both in a place where we have a lot of things going on that could easily derail us from our creative journey.

Laura

0:18
Ain’t that the truth? Hi, this is Laura Lee Griffin.

Nikki

0:26
And this is Nikki May with the Startist Society, inspiring you to stop getting in your own way and start building an art biz and life that you love.

Laura

0:36
We are artists who believe strongly in the power of community, accountability, following your intuition, taking small actionable steps and breaking down the barriers of fear and procrastination that keep you stuck.

Nikki

0:48
Follow along with us on our creative business journey as we encourage you on yours.

All right, Laura, we both have had our fair share of challenges over the last year, haven’t we? Let’s hear what’s been going on with you.

Laura

1:04
Okay, so I had taken a year off during COVID, and then started a new full time job in the finance world while continuing the podcast, creating my second Skillshare class and all the things. My mother was in the hospital four times, one of my very best friends passed away unexpectedly a little over a month ago. And I’m currently in the process of purchasing a new home out of state with my own walls and selling the condo that I’ve lived in for the last 21 years.

Nikki

1:34
Geez, Laura is that all?

Laura

1:36
I’m traveling back and forth constantly between cities and juggling all the balls. There’s no way around it, change is hard for me. And when I hit overwhelm in my personal and professional life, combined with waves of grief and anxiety, everything else suffers. I have zero creativity and no desire to pick up a paintbrush, pen or pretty much anything else. I kind of just want to curl up in the fetal position in my bed for a month and just wish it all away.

Now Nikki, I know you’ve had a lot going on in your personal world too, though, I think you handle change a little bit better than I do.

Nikki

2:12
Yeah, I’ve had a ton of big changes in the last year or two. But mine have all been prompted by things that I want to do. And unlike a lot of people, I love change. But even when the changes are ones that you really want, the upheaval can be stressful. And I’ve had some challenging things come up making some of these changes more difficult than anticipated.

Laura

2:34
Yeah.

Nikki

2:35
So as you know if you’re a regular listener, I’m moving into a converted school bus, which is something that I’m so excited about. But there have been quite a few challenges along the path. I’m still in the process of selling my house, which although I had a contract before it was even officially on the market has dragged out for more than six months, causing delays and everything that relied on that.

Laura

2:58
Yeah.

Nikki

2:58
And in trying to work through these challenges and keep up with client design work, my own creative endeavors have had to go on the way back burner. You know, that one that sparks when you try to light it, but never fully lights?

Laura

3:12
Oh, I know the one.

Nikki

3:14
So yeah, we’ve both had a lot going on lately, for sure.

Laura

3:17
So the question is: when these times hit you, how do you deal with life getting in the way?

Nikki

3:23
I don’t know, Laura, how do you deal with it?

Laura

3:27
Well, first off, I think it helps to understand that you don’t have to be superwoman 100% of the time.

Nikki

3:35
You don’t?

Laura

3:36
You don’t!

Nikki

3:37
Oh, wow, that’s what I’ve been doing wrong!

Laura

3:42
You can take the tiara off, maybe you know take the cape off.

Nikki

3:45
You’re the tiara girl, I’m definitely more of a cape girl.

Laura

3:50
It’s okay to say no to new requests for your time. It’s okay to change your mind or rework your existing commitments in a way that will reduce your overwhelm.

Nikki

4:01
Yeah, one of the things that really helps is to set boundaries like for when you’re available to people for certain things.

Laura

4:07
Boundaries, what are those?

Nikki

4:09
They’re something we need to learn how to set and unlike me learn how to actually stick to. So I’ve spoken before about how I tend to be more reactive than proactive and I’m really working on how to change that right now. So one thing, for example, is to set specific days for client retainer work so that I have other days available for new client work and for my own creative work.

Laura

4:35
Right.

Nikki

4:36
Laura, please check back with me in a month or two and see if I’ve been able to stick to that.

Laura

4:40
Okay, will do. Now putting my Brene Brown hat on…

Nikki

4:45
Does Brene Brown come in a hat form?

Laura

4:48
She does. It’s invisible.

Nikki

4:49
Awesome. But yes, I have a Brene Brown hat. It’s okay to be vulnerable. And it’s okay not to have everything figured out too. But rather than getting completely stopped in overwhelm, we have a few tools that we think might help you get back on track.

Okay, let’s talk about some of those ideas.

Laura

5:10
All right, we’ll start off by saying, we’re way better about talking about these things than actually implementing them, right, Nikki?

Nikki

5:17
Right. And one of the things that we’re great at talking about and not as great at handling is time management.

Laura

5:25
Yes.

Nikki

5:27
I am so good at making schedules, planning time blocks on my calendar to fit in all the things, but when it comes to actually sticking to that schedule?

Laura

5:38
Well, I have to say, we’ve done this quite well with the podcast this year, because we worked really heavily at the beginning of the year recording new episodes and interviews so that when life did get in the way for us this spring, we were able to keep to our weekly release schedule and be on track because of that wiggle room that we gave ourselves.

Nikki

5:57
Yeah, let’s raise a glass of bourbon and give a toast to past Nikki and Laura for getting ahead.

Laura

6:03
Yeah, working ahead and adding flexibility like that to your calendar can really help when life gets in the way. But sometimes we don’t always have that foresight. You can use a project management tool, a to-do list or planner and focus on only the most important tasks that need to be done.

Nikki

6:20
Yeah, if possible, give yourself no more than three important things that have to be done in a given day. And really, if you’re having a really hard time, just choose one thing you can focus on each day to move your creative business forward.

Laura

6:34
You can break down those tasks into smaller doable steps and schedule focus time for them with time blocking.

Nikki

6:41
Another thing that can help is to only check your email once or twice a day instead of every 10 minutes. So you don’t have to respond to everyone right away.

Laura

6:51
I probably waste so much time being distracted by my phone notifications as well, which also ping my Apple watch. So you can put your devices on Do Not Disturb to help you focus. You can even customize those settings with Apple products. So certain important notifications can come through but others are blocked.

Nikki

7:10
I don’t even have my ringer on or notifications and I’m still constantly distracted by email. I’ve even been thinking about setting up an auto responder that says I will respond to emails within 24 hours if it’s not an emergency or something like that, so that I can give myself a little time to not necessarily feel like I have to be so reactive.

Laura

7:34
Yeah, I think that’s a great idea.

Nikki

7:35
That’s another thing you can check up on me and see if I’ve done.

Laura

7:38
Yeah, you can definitely batch tasks together too, so they take less time. For example, you can schedule social media posts once a week using a tool like later.com. Now recently, I scheduled a 30 minute photo shoot for myself where I took staged photos of my latest watercolor sketchbook. And then I spent probably about 45 minutes editing them and getting them all ready to post. And I scheduled those to be released on Instagram. I haven’t actually created any new work since my friend’s passing. But I’ve been able to share newer work with others through this difficult time because I was able to basically share work that already existed.

Nikki

8:18
Yeah, I was totally convinced that you had a sudden creative spurt, and were making new paintings every day.

Laura

8:24
That’s the genius of scheduling tools, as well as sketchbooks, which we’re going to talk about in another episode.

Nikki

8:29
So let’s talk about mental health. Don’t forget about self care and making time for that in your schedule.

Laura

8:37
Yeah, you can write morning pages to get the stuff that’s cluttering your brain out of your head. And that’s from The Artist’s Way, which is a book that we’ll link to in the show notes. And that can really help you focus on the tasks at hand.

Nikki

8:50
Yeah, I’ve done morning pages off and on throughout the 800 years of my professional life. And it really when I stick to it, it really does help. I need to get back to that for sure.

Laura

9:04
Yeah.

Nikki

9:05
And if you’re having trouble coming up with new ideas for self care, you can try our past guest Jenni Kowal’s Self Care Adventure Cards, which can give you just one little focused bit of inspiration just by picking a card.

Laura

9:18
Yeah, I love that. And Nikki, you generously gave me a deck of those. And I’ve really enjoyed flipping through those and just, you know, selecting one card that says okay, this is what I can do today. It does give you some great ideas when you’re out of them.

Nikki

9:32
Yeah, definitely. I’m glad you’re enjoying it.

Laura

9:35
Also, if you lack inspiration, know that it’s okay not to have any good ideas. The creative process goes through ups and downs, there are going to be times where you don’t think you’ll ever have another creative idea or make another good piece of art and that’s okay, you know, this too shall pass.

Nikki

9:53
And as I gushed over in our episode about mindset books, take Amanda Palmer’s advice and ask for help when you need it.

Laura

10:02
Yeah, that definitely helps when life gets in the way – is being willing and able to ask for help.

Nikki

10:08
For sure.

Laura

10:09
Speaking of the art of asking, connection is so important. So stay in communication with your friends and your family that support you when life gets in the way.

Nikki

10:19
And don’t forget your four-legged friends and family, they’re always great for a snuggle when you need it.

Laura

10:24
I seriously have no idea how I would have survived this pandemic without Gus,

Nikki

10:28
You wouldn’t have.

Laura

10:29
I wouldn’t.

Nikki

10:32
And don’t forget to carve out time, even if it’s really small pockets, to do something just for you

Laura

10:38
Spend some time in nature, even if it’s a five minute walk, you’ll be amazed at how things can sort themselves out after a brief commune with nature, especially when life gets in the way and you don’t think that you have the time. You have five minutes, you can carve out five minutes to just walk around the block.

Nikki

10:55
Yeah, along these lines, since moving out of my house with a fenced yard, I’ve actually had to walk my dog on a leash, which has forced me to take breaks and get outside, which is something that I never used to do. And it’s been really great to clear my mind and helped me get some perspective.

Laura

11:10
Perspective is huge. And Rocket says, “Thank you, mom for walking me, finally.”

Nikki

11:16
He really does. And I’m going to refer back to the Designing Your Life book we talked about in our mindset book episode about reframing dysfunctional beliefs. I’m going to share a reframe of mine that made me feel a lot better recently, and then challenge you to come up with one of your own Laura. Okay. So my dysfunctional belief is that I’ve been so busy with the bus stuff that I haven’t had time to do anything creative of my own. And my reframe of that is designing my new bus home has been an incredibly fun and creative project. I designed every inch of the layout, the materials, functionality, colors, fixtures, all the things in the space that I’m going to be living in.

Laura

12:00
Mm hmm.

Nikki

12:01
And I learned how much fun it is and have done some really creative problem solving. And I’m designing the life that I want to live in that bus.

Laura

12:10
Absolutely, that is a hugely creative endeavor. So you have to give yourself kudos for that.

Nikki

12:15
I will pat myself on the back.

Laura

12:17
You think that life has gotten in the way and you’re not doing anything creative, but no, you absolutely have been doing creative things.

Nikki

12:23
Yes, definitely. So now putting you on the spot, Laura, do you have a dysfunctional belief and reframe?

Laura

12:30
I have many dysfunctional beliefs. But I have to choose one?

Nikki

12:34
Let’s limit it to one or two.

Laura

12:37
Okay, so I think one of mine is I don’t have the time or energy, like with life being in the way right now. I don’t have the time or energy to create new art, to build my portfolio, to film new classes. So I’m just never going to become the artist and entrepreneur that I could be.

Nikki

12:53
Okay, that is dysfunctional. So how are you going to reframe that?

Laura

12:59
Well, I reframe that as right now I do have pockets of time in the evenings. And it’s amazing how much time you have if you don’t turn on your TV. I might have a small problem with wanting to binge watch Outlander. And in the future, I’m actually creating a new physical space for myself in a place with my own walls, where I’ll be able to create freely all the time. Not just visual art, and filming classes, but I’ll also be able to record my music again soon too, which actually generates a ton of creative energy for me, when I’m doing those things. They kind of build on each other. So I already know that the problem is solved. I just have to take small steps along the way.

Nikki

13:43
And that’s the perfect sentiment to end this episode on. Just take small steps that you can fit in even when life gets challenging, and you will head in the right direction.

Laura

13:54
Now it’s your turn. Share with us in the Facebook group, what do you do when life gets in your way?

Nikki

14:01
And to read today Startist Society shownotes go to startistsociety.com/intheway.

Laura

14:07
If you’ve enjoyed today’s episode, we’d love for you to leave us a five star rating and review and share it with a friend. Sharing helps us reach more Startists like you and keeps us inspired to create new episodes.

Nikki

14:19
Thanks for listening, and we’ll see you next week.

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